Of Loss
by ForeverLilacLies
Summary: Gaara loved Naruto for years, but it means little in the world of Shinobi. Oneshot


**NaruGaa oneshot i've had in my folders for way too long! Finally decided to finish it!**

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There's something tragic about the sand. Miles and miles of it with nothing to see but the same golden hills for miles and miles. It's both bleak and comforting and home to Gaara. The sand is his home physically, but sometimes he feels like his home is the sky. The blue and the golden sun. All things that bring his mind back to Naruto Uzumaki.

 _"We're friends Gaara. You and me!"_

Gaara had not expected to fall in love the way he did. He had not planned for Naruto Uzumaki to captivate him with such ease. Yet, since the moment he and Naruto spoke, the boy had held a place in his heart he had not known existed. What started as respect soon made way for friendship, and Gaara would have been content with just that. He would have happily remained Naruto's friend, expect for one person.

Sasuke Uchiha.

Gaara saw how Naruto looked at him. He saw how those baby blues lit up with such happiness every time the Uchiha approached him. He knew that the feelings he himself felt for Naruto, were what Naruto in turn felt towards the Uchiha. Naruto loved Sasuke with all his heart and soul. Gaara knew this. Gaara understood this, but it hurt all the same. When Sasuke defected, it left an impact far more devastating then he could have expected. Naruto chased after Sasuke while the Uchiha chased another. It was a never ending game that could only end in heartbreak. Gaara had not wanted it to be Naruto. He could see that the Uchiha loved Naruto. He could see that after years of running, being able to reunite only ignited the growing affection Sasuke felt towards his friend. Naruto had fought, bled and cried for Sasuke. He had never given up hope that one day the Uchiha would come home, even when everyone else had. Even when the rest of his team have up, Naruto endured.

 _"Naruto... Just so you know, there will be a war to protect the Eight-Tails and Nine-Tails. In other words - you. For the sake of the ninja world and as the Kazekage, I will guard you with my life. If as a member of Akatsuki, Sasuke Uchiha stands in the way of the ninja coalition... I will show him no mercy."_

And Sasuke came home. Stronger, taller and far more broken then when he had left. He had left a broken boy and returned shattered beyond repair. There's something about broken people that Gaara finds unsettling. He had been broken, Naruto had been broken. They had been repaired. Sasuke hadn't.

Gaara had watched as Naruto loved Sasuke and he had watched Sasuke love him back. There was always a whisper on the back of Gaara's mind, telling him that it cannot last. Telling him that Naruto did not have the same type of hold on the Uchiha's heart as another did. That the brother Sasuke had lost would forever remain a ghost in Sasuke's mind. The Uchiha loved Naruto and there could be no doubt about it. That love went beyond friendship. That love went beyond anything tangible. The Uchiha however had a duty and he chose that duty over what his heart desired, and before anything more could come of Sasuke and Naruto's relationship, the Uchiha ended it with a heavy heart and pained words. He turned to a woman instead. The Haruno girl was elated. She would finally be able to be with the man of her dreams. She could have the happy ending she had dreamed of. She was the only one. While Gaara had watched from the sidelines as Naruto fell for the Uchiha, the Uchiha had been forced to make a choice and Naruto could never be that choice. Not if Sasuke wanted to rebuild his clan. Not if Sakura remained hopelessly devoted to the same man. Naruto would never have a chance.

 _"He's my best friend. I'd do anything to make him happy...so why does it feel so hard to let him go?"_

So, Naruto stepped aside, as he would always do. He still smiled like before and he still laughed. But Gaara knew the sadness that lurked behind those blue eyes. He himself had felt it for years. It would have been the perfect opportunity to reach out for Naruto and show him how much he truly lo-loved him. Instead, he remained silent and instead watched as Naruto allowed himself to reach out again, this time to the timid little girl that still loved Naruto almost as consumingly as Gaara did.

Gaara could not begrudge her for loving Naruto. He could not fault her for reaching out to him and making him smile again. Even if that smile lacked the shine that it had around _him_. The Hyuuga girl loved Naruto and that was what he needed. The uchiha could never have offered that. Not with his clan on the line, and not with the ghost of another firmly taking the first space in his heart. Naruto could never compete. He would grow to love Hinata. Gaara did not doubt this. His heart was too large to keep anyone out. The Uchiha would leave again. Gaara did not doubt this. He would vanish and leave his wife alone and Gaara _could_ fault him for this. Let Uchiha Sasuke chase ghosts. Let him keep away from the village filled with blood and cruelty. He owed the village nothing. Truly, he did not owe anything to anyone. But that did not stop Gaara's anger. That did not stop him from pitying Sakura and pining for Naruto. That did not stop the ache that crept in his chest whenever he saw Naruto and Hinata together.

He loved Naruto, as he never anticipated he would. He did not regret it. Loving Naruto was just expected at this point, really. How could someone not? Perhaps Gaara was biased; He didn't care. Each smile was returned and if his heart still sped up every time those blue eyes turned to him...well, Gaara had never been the type to act on his feelings.

 _'I have loved you for a lifetime it feels like, and I shall love you for many more.'_


End file.
